Being sick is humbling.

Being sick is always a humbling experience, and for that, I am grateful. Weird, huh? But it's true. When I am sick, I am always forced to slow down. Lay down. Relax. Except...I hate relaxing. Unless I am daydreaming or in need of a nap, I hate just lying there doing nothing. Being sick, weak, and in pain is the perfect reminder that I don't have control over everything.

Of course for my stubborn self, being sick also seems to be the perfect motivation to get more done. For example, on Saturday night I decided I wanted to make homemade granola. Even though my entire body craved peace and rest, I prepared and baked that granola non-stop. Afterward I cleaned up the mess I had made without second thought (hallelujah!) and I even cleaned the pantry. I know. What a freak. I would have washed the dishes too if my mom had let me...

Unfortunately, I did have to miss out on Stake Conference because of this. Sunday morning I woke up feeling extra weak but determined to at least watch the live broadcast of the conference at my local church building. I thought there wouldn't be many people, but the place was packed! I sunk into my seat hoping to be able to keep my illness to myself for the whole two hours. I succeeded, and though towards the end it became more difficult to sit still, being able to feel the Spirit in such a special way was worth it. Always worth it.




And what a beautiful day it was! Since it was freezing inside the chapel (as it always seems to be), I walked straight out of there craving nothing but the sun and its warmth. The moment I realized I was out in full sunlight and actually enjoying it, I knew this whole being-sick deal was something special to learn from. On the way home all I craved was a warm bed to nap on, and I promise, though it might sound crazy, I entered my room and frantically delighted in every passing second for the next half hour. I snuggled in my bed as if I had never snuggled in a bed before. I snapped pictures and scribbled hurriedly in my thought journal everything I could feel so I wouldn't forget. I simply felt joyful.

How is it that we can feel full of light when everything should be darkness and distress? I only attribute it to the Light of Christ. The beautiful, simple knowledge of things as they really are. I am grateful for a body that fights to heal itself, and I am grateful for a spirit that is bound, through faith, to rest in due time in the celestial mansions of a loving Heavenly Father.

 I am grateful for sleepy, sickly eyes; for an aching chest and a sore throat. I am grateful for darkness in contrast with warmth and light. I am grateful for people who feel the same kinds of things that I do, and longingly try to explain it all in words during simple but powerful church meetings. I am grateful to be a witness and participant of the miracles of this life.

P-Day, Temple Day + an update, finally

I've been wanting to start using my blog more often for a while, yet I tend to put limitations on myself. "I don't have good pictures to upload", "I don't have anything interesting to write", "I won't be able to keep up constantly with it as always, why even try", etc etc. But I really need to learn how to override those thoughts with motivation. I'm so keen on documenting my life in every medium possible and blogging is one of my favorite ways. I love to pair my photos with words, and I'm learning how to be more brave about doing so. Something I love about blogging is being able to come back and re-read old posts that are neatly archived and labeled. The Nostalgia Queen inside of me deeply appreciates a good archive of memories.

So here's something: I had the opportunity to visit the Sacramento LDS Temple just yesterday. The missionaries in my ward were going and I enthusiastically managed to tag along. The Sister missionaries are super great about involving me, and I'm ever grateful for all they do just to help me be closer to Christ. They're the sweetest. <3

It was a bit of a stressful day for everyone, mostly because of time. It was the day before transfers and all the missionaries were scatter-brained trying to fit in all their P-Day activities and preparations into a tight schedule. Yet, the strength we all received at the Temple, and the strength that is constantly available to us because of the Gospel kept us going joyously.

   

I wish I had been better at photographing and writing about all the missionaries I've been able to meet since I started attending church. I feel like I haven't been doing my job and that I've wasted lots of potential. Here's to changing that! All the missionaries I've had the privilege of meeting these 2+ years have been amazing and so unique, every single one. I no longer see full-time missionaries as perfect angels that always know exactly what to do, but as faithful young men and women who simply and enthusiastically seek to do God's will, no matter how imperfect they are at it. It doesn't get better than that. I learn lots from just observing them as they serve and I am grateful for being able to work alongside with them as often as I get to.

After doing some temple work, the sweet sister who gave us a ride to Sacramento took me with her to Deseret Book. Every time I enter that store I honestly, truly feel like it's the only store I ever need to shop at. Who needs food and clothes when you have so many cool Gospel books at your disposal!? I always end up leaving just wishing I could have bought everything. As weird as it may sound, I hope I will probably always feel that way and never lose my enthusiasm for Gospel-related things and learning. I bought some books as gifts, some stickers, a dark chocolate bar because it was "Under 1.99!" (and because it's chocolate....duh), and the cutest little notebook whose cover I'm convinced was inspired by me, me, and only me. "You had me at daily scripture study". *-*

After the great adventure at Deseret Book, we went to a market called KP International. They have all sorts of food and things from different cultures and my favorite part was that they played The Beatles and Creedence Clearwater Revival while I was there. That alone puts it on my list of top favorite places in Sacramento (after the Temple and Desert Book, of course). Super cool! We came back to the temple just in time to take some photos before heading back home. I took a few of the missionaries from my ward, and then we had a sister attempt to take some with me in the picture too but...er, let's just say that next time I should put my camera on auto-focus just to make it easier on everyone! Haha. On the two-hour ride home I ate a greasy thing called a Peroski (?) filled with potatoes and mushrooms, and I made a mental note never to eat one of those things again. Not that it wasn't good, but I could just feel my arteries being clogged up with every bite. 

Anyway, my favorite parts of the trip back home were writing and drawing in Hermana Cuesta's "Bye-book" (kind of like a yearbook for missionaries), and being amused by the Elders trying to pass us on the freeway various times and failing hilariously. I hung out with the Manteca Sisters for a while as I waited for Sister Robinson and the Tracy Sisters to pick me up. Once we got to Tracy, we all headed straight to the church building to e-mail. It's always neat watching the missionaries write their friends and families back home. It gives me a little glimpse of what it's like when my friends serving out in the world write to me. :)

I mostly sat

 around and watched everyone type, joke around, and sign each others' "Bye Books". Again, I felt grateful for being able to spend so much time with missionaries. I never want to not be Ward Missionary, never ever.

After a rushed e-mailing hour we were finally able to take some pictures wearing our Book of Mormon T-shirts! That's one of the main reasons why I stayed with them all day, so that I could snap just a few shots of them all together before they were transferred. We missed Hermana Thomas! <3 And the missionaries really do love their T-shirts.

 "Do something Asian," I said, and they obeyed. It's no surprise, though. They are missionaries after all!

 And that's right about where my day with the missionaries ended. It'll be strange not having some of them around next transfer, but that's how it always goes in the great and wonderful missionary work. We have to be in constant motion, working, serving, teaching, loving. As for me, I will be adding documenting and blogging more into the mixture. It'll help me remember more and remembering more will help me be filled with gratitude. That's something I have been learning about a lot in the past few months. I'm learning to be more constantly aware and grateful. 

Resilient and grateful. <3